“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”
-Gail Grenier Sweet-
Back To College
For many parents, saying goodbye to a son or daughter headed off to college can be one of life’s heart-wrenching moments, especially a child who’s been a primary focus in your life.
In my book, Chapter 8 takes the reader through the moment Stella takes her daughter to college.
Here are ways that parents can support your freshman’s new life and make the transition more enjoyable for everyone.
- Whose college life is this: A parent could feel regret or jealous from their memories of
college or lack of. Regret that you didn’t attend or envy that your experience was the
best memory ever. This is your child’s day and let them find their own experiences in their own time.
- The new roommate: Don’t pass judgement. If you don’t approve of the living situation,keep your opinion to yourself. Don’t say anything to your child. They are starting their independent life which means making their own judgement and assessing people and situations by themselves.
- Strive it to be just right: When it comes to saying goodbye, don’t be too emotional and don’t be too cold. It’s okay to cry and tell your child they will be missed. Hug and tell them how much they are loved. Show honest emotions so your child knows this is a big day for everyone.
- Respect your child’s boundaries: Don’t call or text every day to make sure everything is okay. Give them space and let them reach out to you. Agreeing on a predetermined time and day to touch base with your child once a week is good. By respecting their need to separate will help your child establish an independent life and develop a new network of friends they can trust.
Let them know you are there for them but don’t intervene unless your child asks you. Part of growing up involves facing challenging situations and finding ways to deal with college life. Finding this balance with your child will take time but eventually will be very
rewarding for your relationship.